"Forgiveness is something I’ve had to study a lot and kind of think about what it means," Shari Franke said. "But for me, forgiveness would look like not letting that consume every moment of my life."
Ruby Franke, once the matriarch of the controversial YouTube family channel "8 Passengers," was sentenced in 2023 after pleading guilty to four counts of child abuse. She received four separate prison sentences, each ranging from one to 15 years. Ruby's business partner, Jodi Hildebrandt, was also sentenced to the same terms after being implicated in the abuse.
Shari Franke's memoir, The House of My Mother: A Daughter’s Quest for Freedom, was released on Tuesday by Simon & Schuster. In the book, Shari opens up about the disturbing abuse she and her siblings endured under Ruby Franke's strict and often cruel parenting, which she describes as a "twisted interpretation of crime and punishment." She also recounts the influence of Hildebrandt, whom she views as a "false prophet" who added psychological abuse to the already damaging environment created by her mother.
Ruby Franke and Jodi Hildebrandt were arrested in August 2023 after authorities discovered one of Ruby's sons severely malnourished, with open wounds and bound with duct tape. The boy had managed to escape from Hildebrandt’s home and sought help from a neighbor. Another of Franke's children was also found in a similar state of malnourishment at Hildebrandt's residence.
During her mother's sentencing, Ruby Franke tearfully apologized to her children, admitting she had been misled by her beliefs. "I ... believed dark was light and right was wrong," she said, before adding, "I would do anything in this world for you. I took from you all that was soft and safe and good."
In her memoir, Shari describes how her mother's behavior changed after meeting Jodi Hildebrandt. Initially, the physical abuse diminished, but it was replaced with psychological torment. Shari recalls, "I was like, ‘Oh, Jodi, I don’t like her, but maybe this is one good thing that’s come from it, is [Ruby Franke’s] not yelling, she’s not hitting us anymore.’ But it did become more psychological. And in a way, that was more damaging to me."
Shari elaborates further in her book, describing how Hildebrandt’s influence led her mother to become obsessed with the life coach’s teachings, even allowing her to move into the Franke family home in 2022. Shari expressed discomfort with the situation, calling it "not normal" for a therapist to live in the home of a client.
Despite the abuse, Shari Franke took steps to report the situation to authorities, although she feels it took too long for action to be taken. After her mother’s arrest, Shari posted a message on Instagram, expressing relief and support for the police and CPS, stating, “We’ve been trying to tell the police and CPS for years about this, and so glad they finally decided to step up.”
Shari also testified before the Utah Senate in October, sharing her experience as a child influencer. She condemned the ethical issues surrounding family vlogging, stating, "My goal today is not to present any idea of a solution to this problem but to shed light on the ethical and monetary issues that come from being a child influencer."
While Shari believes her mother may never fully comprehend the guilt of her actions, she expressed that Ruby Franke is as remorseful as she can be. Shari is now focused on rebuilding relationships with her siblings and father, navigating the emotional complexities of her past.
"Sometimes I’ll see myself in the mirror and I’m like, ‘Oh, my gosh, I look like her’ or ‘I sound like her,’" Shari admitted. "But I don’t want to be anything like her."
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